Tuesday, October 1, 2013

OctoberFilmFest


Not a fancy schmancy one in Toronto... just a regular one in my living room. I'm not bitter at all, AT AHSTINTOE!

Dr. Strangelove: Or How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb I remember seeing this movie in high school and loving it. As I started to rewatch it, I thought it wasn’t going to hold up, but then it totally did, and was still very funny. Mineshaft gap. HA! Oh, it’s about a crazy general who tries to give America a head start in the nuclear war by basically sneak attacking Russia first. Then hijinxs ensue. And we discover no fighting is allowed in the war room. LOL.

Behind the Candelabra This is a movie on HBO. It was apparently rejected by movie theaters because it was too gay. I loved Liberace as a kid; I have owned many a pair of Liberace sneakers as an adult. I didn’t particularly care for this movie because it didn’t show very much of the stuff you love Liberace for – there are one or two scenes of him playing the piano and the showy stuff, but mostly it’s about him preying on young men for sex --- which is less flattering. Douglas was great though. Matt Damon passable. It’s okay --- but I don’t think Liberace fans will like it. I wish they’d do a Liberace, Liberace movie!

Clear History This was also an HBO movie. It’s about the Curb Your Enthusiasm guy getting kicked out of a car company by the Mad Men guy right before the company takes off. I thought it was awful. But to be fair, I hate Larry David. Like violently. I think he’s a disgusting unfunny hateful petty little man. But the posters do a good job of disguising him, so I didn’t realize it was Larry David until about twenty minutes in -- around about when he was implying to a woman of color that because her hairdo doesn’t require daily shampooing, her hair must stink. See? Unfunny and disgusting. But you know, if you like him, this movie is for you. #Shade

Epic This movie stars Beyonce and she gets ganked in the first twenty minutes. I don’t know why they don’t put that right there on the poster! It’s an animated feature, so I don’t think that’s particularly spoily. I mean, you do know someone gets ganked in the first twenty minutes of all animated features, right? It’s an okay movie about the fight of good and evil.

The Big Wedding Yarf. This movie is about a young couple getting married even though all their parents' and siblings' marriages are all dysfunctional. Robin Williams plays the priest. Blech. It’s an all star cast in a low caliber script. I’m guessing the screenwriter must be someone’s cousin or something.

The Great Gatsby Baz Luhrmann’s movies are pretty. They’re colorful and bright and interestingly staged. However, the syntax in his movies is always stilted. The Great Gatsby more so than the others. I think I would have preferred watching this movie on mute.

Star Trek: Into Darkness A sequel to the first Star Trek movie where Kirk gets the helm of the ship and is saddled with a merry band of misfits. Here, he breaks all the rules, is demoted and has to earn it all back! And then he pays the ultimate price! It was exciting. I liked Benedict Cumberbatch.

Oblivion This movie is terrible. Terribly terrible. It’s about Tom Cruise clones. Nobody needs more than one Tom Cruise. Awful.

Now You see Me I enjoy magic. And capers. So, this movie wasn’t the worst. I figured out the twist right away, but the movie wasn’t ruined. IT is unbelievably fantastic though.

Uncle Buck Why. Who. WHAT. WHERE. I… poor John Candy that this piece of junk was his last movie. But HEY it introduced the world to McCauley Culkin!

Stories We Tell Awww. I don’t know how I feel about this movie exactly. But I feel sorry for somebody, but I’m not quite sure who… I don’t want to lay out the options either, because the movie is worth a watch and all the entanglements partly drive the movie. It’s an indie film about a family. In Canada. Go watch it.

Parker Remember when J-Lo used to make movies? She’s back. And actually, this movie is good. It’s an action revenge thingamabob. The bad guys leave Jason Statham for dead, BUT THEY’RE WRONG! Dun dun dun. J lo isn’t annoying and I think Patti Lupone is also in this. It was good. Very shooty. If you like shooty. Uh... it's still shooty even if you don't like shooty.

The Way This movie was so sad. It’s about a dad who goes to Spain to collect his only child's body after the son is killed on the first day of his pilgrimage. The dad then decides to complete his son’s journey. He meets people along the way. It’s sad. I totally want to do the journey now. But I don’t like walking or flying or Europe…so… *whistles*.

Erased There’s a crazy lady at my job who told me Alexander Skarsgard was in this movie. She is a damn hell ass liar. It’s about Ex-CIA agent who works for a bank and then his teenage daughter comes to live with him after her mom dies. But THE BANK IS FAKE! THEY LIED TO HIM and now he's targeted for assassination! And you are rooting for the assassins the whole way.

The Rum Diary Barf. I can’t remember if I broke up with Johnny Depp after that horrendous Rango movie, but we are definitely done after this vomitously unforgettable bomb.

In the Land of Blood and Honey Oh my gosh. This movie was FANTASTIC. Fucking Angelina Jolie. CAN’T SHE FAIL AT ANYTHING?!?!?!? *throws all the shoes* It’s about the relationship between a Bosnian Serb soldier and a Bosnian Muslim woman through the war. Ugh. So gut wrenching. Humans are awful um… humans. So sad. Beautifully well done movie.

The Avengers I watched this movie again in anticipation of the TV show SHIELD. It wasn’t as good the second time around. I still like Robert Downey Jr though… and the Hulk and Loki… okay, it was still pretty good.

Don’t Stop Believin’: Everyman’s Journey This movie is a good theoretical story. The band Journey loses its front man and starts trolling youtube where they discover an unknown Filipino man. They fly him in, he’s amazing and they hire him. Racists complain, Filipinos flock to the band in record numbers, the singer’s life becomes a Cinderella story. But all that happens in the first 26 minutes, yet the movie is 100 minutes… after a while, it’s like “I get it. I feel good, applause applause… can we wrap this up now?” I did go buy a Journey CD after.

Into the Abyss is a documentary film written and directed by Werner Herzog about the death penalty. He definitely believes the death penalty is wrong, but the movie interviews people on all sides of the issue – the daughter of the victim who goes to the execution, the dude executed, the dude who was with the dude who was executed but only got life, the chick who marries the dude who got life after *reading* about his story. O_o It’s a look at a death penalty case where all the perpetrators are white men; there is no question about guilt or mental fitness. It’s interesting to see what your views on the death penalty are when divorced from “mitigating factors.” (Except poverty. Still a lot of the poverty.)