Monday, July 1, 2013

Just when I thought I was out!

Cloud Atlas

I LOVED this movie. Everyone on the twitters kept saying I would hate it and warned me not to ever watch it, but I thought it was great! It's like a sci/fi/rom/com/thriller mashup! Sure, I could have done without Tom Hanks and Halle Berry speaking pidgin, but other than that, this movie is awesome. There are space ships and lasers and robots and car chases and poignant life lessons ("do what you can't not do.") Two thumbs up, ignore the haters.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

This movie stars a bunch of famous old British actors. Like picture an old British actor, unless it's that chick from Prime Suspect BBC, he or she is in the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. Like right IN there. The title is supposed to be funny because in reality the hotel is in shambles. The rooms don't have doors, birds have taken up residency, the phones don't work and the food gives the guests the runs. But the idea is that this Indian kid has a plan to "outsource old age." So the old people come. They form friendships, die, divorce, fall in love. It's alright. And as the movie teaches us, everything is alright in the end; and if everything is not alright, then it's not yet the end.


This movie is a documentary that follows six children who are bullied in their schools. It's infuriating at times and I wonder how they found their subjects. I also wonder about the idiot bullying kids who keep punching and tormenting their subjects EVEN THOUGH THERE IS A FILM CREW RIGHT THERE. IDJITS. But on the whole the movie is engaging.


HAHAHAAHAH, well, if watching the "Toothfairy" wasn't proof enough that I'll watch The Rock in anything, Snitch would easily serve to prove my point. Here, the son of divorced and remarried Rock gets pinched for drug distribution. The kid refuses to snitch in exchange for a reduced sentence, so dad decides to go undercover and take down the WHOLE drug cartel! Cause when your dad is THE ROCK that's an option! Stuff blows up. People are shot. Susan Sarandon looks totally hot! And of course, The Rock is ROCKISH!

Oz The Great and Powerful

Blaarrghhh. James what's-his-face is SOOO ANNOYING. Why does he still get cast in things??? AWFUL. This movie isn't wretched, but it so blatantly attempts to "mirror" (read: rip off) the Judy Garland Wizard of Oz, that you just roll your eyes... a lot. The lead is weak, the supporting cast (monkey and China doll girl.. WHAT?) are suspect. The villain is lame...okay, on second thought this movie might have been wretched, but it's pretty, so there's that. BLLAARRRGGHHH.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

This movie is borrible. I didn't care one iota what happened to Hansel or Gretel or the witches or the trolls. Awful awful awful. What on earth is that Renner guy doing in this movie? Doesn't he have an Oscar? Or at least an Oscar nomination? FIRE YOUR AGENT DUDE! OR QUIT GAMBLING/DRUG USING.


This movie is great. I love Marlon Brando! And Al Pacino! Their performances are so subtle and quiet that it contrasts perfectly against the Santino guy and blaring newspaper headlines. It had been a LLLOOONNNGGG time since I've seen this movie. Some of the scenes had been mixed up in my head, so it was also a cool refresher course in how you do a gangster movie, *wild applause*

Godfather II

Uhh, this movie is okay. Again, it's been awhile since I've seen this, so I realized I've been conflating these two movies for a long time. In my sixth grade essay about Of Mice and Men, I likened the death of Lenny to when Michael killed Fredo in the Godfather. But that doesn't happen till Godfather II AND Michael didn't even do it!  I definitely like the Vito scenes the best, De Niro again was understated, whereas Pacino has now bought the hype and he's just too over the top with everything. I also like the Roth guy. "I DIDN'T ASK WHO GAVE THE ORDER!" The WORST was the Frankie state's evidence guy. Blargh! Quit trying so hard dude.

Godfather III 

I actually liked this movie better than Godfather II, mostly because I don't think either are very good, but this one has a helicopter attack and I like when helicopters attack things. Shrug. Frankly, I thought I would be run out of town being chased with pitch fork carrying villagers for saying that Godfather III was better than Godfather II, but turns out Roger Ebert said the same thing, though... he is dead and they took his face*runs*