Wednesday, June 30, 2010

100 Greatest Movie Insults

Hopefully this isn't a repeat.

Monday, June 21, 2010

It's still June, right?

Ironman 2

I was so excited to see this movie in the theater. Like I wanted to be there the day it opened and get a seat right in the center of the theater and then sit there all day and watch it again and again. Why? Well, ahem, look at him:
Are you looking? Isn't he dreamy. With the wit and the stammering and the cocksure bravado masking his good heart and insecurity? Yeah. Anyway, that didn't happen. In fact, I didn't get to see Ironman 2 till yesterday, pretty sure making me one of the last. And I didn't want to stay and see it again. Or stay and watch anything past the Monte Carlo car race.

The movie just didn't work for me. Too many shots of stupid Gwen Paltrow and even stupider Scarlett Johnhoweveryouspellhernameson. Plus, I don't like the Nick Fury crap. I think they should have just focused on the guy from the movie Moon who looks just like Will from Will and Grace and maybe this Soviet felon dude. I also didn't like the whole government trying to comandeer Ironman stuff...though the Senate hearings were pretty funny. All in all? Meh.

Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior (2003)

My co-worker recommended this flick to me. It was pretty much many different kinds of awesome. If you like martial arts, cool stunts without sappy romance, this is the movie for you. The plot, I suppose, centers on a young man setting out for the big city when his village's sacred monk head is stolen by a gangster. He falls into an underground fighting ring, where he naturally kicks ass. But it's mostly about the fighting. And the grifting.

Facing Ali (2009)

I've been a huge Ali fan since watching Ali. The movie, not the boxer. I am way too young to have ever seen the boxer. Facing Ali is a documentary which, interestingly, doesn't feature modern-day Ali, at all. (Maybe because he can no longer really talk or intentionally.) The movie focuses on tracking Ali's rise and fall through the eyes of his surviving opponents. One dude is still SO angry at Ali -- I can't remember his name, but he sang a song about how Ali can call himself whatever he wants, he'd always be Cassius Clay. Then past Muhammad called him an Uncle Tom. Then he said Ali's current state is karmic payback and I was all "daayyuuumm, OH SNAP!"
Frankly, with the exception of George Foreman, who found Jesus and a grill in the nick of time, all these men are broken, damaged shells of their former selves. But I guess when you make a living getting punched in the face, life's not going to be a ball of roses. (Ball of roses? That doesn't sound right...bed of roses? bunch of roses? How do roses come? -Ed) I highly recommend this movie -- even if you're not a boxing fan.

Invictus (2009)

Raise your hand if you thought this movie was about soccer. Yeah, ME TOO! It's not. Also, Matt Damon's accent is about as good as my South African accent and I can't do a South African accent. Well, I could, but it'd just sound like my Australian accent. Which sounds like my Indian accent and so on. No bueno. The movie is slow too. Lots of talking and walking around. The last half hour is good though, but who the heck knows what's going on in a rugby match. Much less a dramaticized rugby match. Wait. Are they called matches? I did see this flick right after Facing Ali AND I'm easily confused, know. You're welcome.


I thought this movie was going to be SO scary! Basically, vampires have taken over the world and as the last humans are hunted, the vampires struggle to find a new source of blood. They find it, but it turns out to be much more than they'd bargained for. Um. But not in a good way. It's kind of an "intellectual" "talkie" vampire movie. Lots of science and corporate conspiracy. Who needs that?! Am I right? Let's get with the biting and the running and the screaming! Honestly, I can't even remember who stars in this...though I feel like it's a big marquee name.

Valentine's Day (2010)

Call me crazy, but I did NOT hate this movie. Matter of fact, I daresay, (looks around, pulls you in real close and whispers...) I liked this movie. I like that the vignettes all actually come together to form a connected universe. The ending packs three surprises into one, although one you kinda see coming a mile away. I'll admit it's a tiny bit cheesy, but not vomit inducingly so AND this is Ashton Kutcher's finest performance. Yes, I know. But still. Taylor Swift does bring shame upon herself and her family though, but she's not on screen that much. Um...pinky swear.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Beyond the Infinite

Look at what Stanley Kubrick and Martin Scorsese are responsible for. I dare you to watch these images and not want to watch everything these two have ever shot.

Full screen view highly recommended.

Kubrick vs Scorsese from Leandro Copperfield on Vimeo.

Monday, June 7, 2010


Pure from Jacob Bricca on Vimeo.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Working Girl

That was a movie. With the Avatar lady and Antonio Banderas, right? And that famous song Eiko, Eiko wan nay...or some such.

Maybe not. I'm a little punchdrunk right now (also a movie! Adam Sandler ate pudding and hated his sisters.) Anyway, that I am a working girl is also why this month's movie reviews will be so sparce. And truth be told, I saw these movies last month, but had a feeling I'd be too preoccupied to see new ones, so I held them back. Anyhoo, here goes:

Leap Year (2010)

Romantic comedy starring the ubiquitous Amy Adams and two guys who I'll hopefully never hear from again. This movie suffers from the common malady which often plagues romcoms: namely, everyone involved is an idiot. The girl's boyfriend of five years gives her earrings at a romantic restaurant in a ring shaped box? Yah huh. This prompts her to want to PROPOSE TO HIM?? WHAAA? Then rogue Irish guy needs to make quick money to save his bar, so he drives her cross country through Ireland and falls in love with her irritating, over packed, over planned Strike three. In the end, I didn't hate it, but I also have a soft spot for Ireland. I would not recommend this film to my worst enemy.

Edge of Darkness (2010)

I *would* recommend this movie to my worst enemy! Oh man, it amazes me that I can still be amazed by the crap that makes it to celloid these days. Gibson's daughter is killed in his arms at their family home. He is a cop and so, naturally, he sets out to find the girl's killer. At first, he thinks it's her boyfriend. But no! Then, he thinks it's an old case of his come back to bite him...WRONG AGAIN! Instead, she is just the latest piece in the dumbest most ridiculous conspiracy in the history of the world! (Although, the underlying crime they are supposedly covering up, is sorta kinda awesome and someone should send a note to the President about it. It's genius. Again, how perfect a job would it be for me to watch TV and movies and let President Obama know about stuff? Someone get his people on the phone with my people!) Yeah, so unless you are hated by me and wish to carry out my punishments against you for me, skip this flick.

Nine (2009)

Good gravy, this night was really oh for three wasn't it? Nine is wretched. Like downright painfully awful. What a WASTE of Daniel Day Lewis and that Spanish speaking actress. And believe you me, I LOVE MUSICALS, like right now I'm listening to a Pandora station based on Wicked, while toggling youtubes of various Broadway shows and Glee, LOVE. Yet, I wanted to open my veins and write "please turn this movie off" in blood on my DVR player. Thankfully, I thought it through. SKIP!

Clerks 2 [Widescreen] (2006)

Funny story: Evidently, I've never seen Clerks 1. I pretty much hated this movie. (Didn't buy that the rich man's Eva Mendes would get knocked up by this dude, ESPECIALLY if he already had a girlfriend and the friend was just too stupid...blah Oh, and was there a man having sex with a goat or something? Triple blah) However, maybe if I saw Clerks, all of this would make sense or be nostalgic...I dunno. So, my review? It sucked. But I didn't see the first one, so do with this as you will.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)

Oh yeah, this was the Kevin Smith day. This movie was terrible. But it was predictably terrible, which made it okay. If you like Jay and Silent Bob, you'll probably like this. Oh know what? This movie was awesome! I don't need some shitty C-listers coming to my apartment to beat me up.

Black Dynamite (2009)

This is the only movie I'd recommend. It was well done, appropriately tongue in cheek, but with a decent enough plot that you don't feel like you are completely wasting your time! It's a very funny spoof of those 1970s blacksploitation movies, but also keep in mind the crap that I saw before and after it. It may just stand out in my head by comparison. But I don't think so...I think it was good.

Conversation of the Day

So, my co-worker asked me what movie he should rent and I emphatically said "2012." He's with Netflix, though, so he'd have to order that one by mail. In the meantime, he starts going through the list of on-demand movies.

Me: What movie?
Co-worker: Land of Lost...Will Ferrell.
Me: Never seen it.
Co-worker: It won a Razzie. It was even worst than "I know who killed me."
Me: I kinda liked that movie.
Co-worker: WHAT? I am SO NOT taking any of your movie recommendations.
Me: (Laughs) What else?
Co-worker: 17 Again
Me: I LOVED that movie! I'M A HUGE ZAC EFRON fan!
Co-worker: And now I'm not taking any of your recommendations about anything ever.