Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Quotes? We Don't Need No Stinking Quotes

Let's go through some of MY favourite quotes. I promise no diversity of movies. In fact, I promise large groupings from a small sample size!

Army of Darkness

"Well hello Mister Fancypants."

"I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things, right now: Jack and shit... and Jack left town."

"Maybe. Just maybe my boys can protect the book. Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot."

"Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun."

"Don't touch that please, your primitive intellect wouldn't understand alloys and compositions and things with... molecular structures."

"You found me beautiful once."
"Honey, you got reeeeal ugly."

"Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?"

Galaxy Quest

"Quellek... by Grabthar's hammer... by the Sons of Warvan... you shall be... avenged." -- this one works because (a) The character has resented this line the whole movie, (b) it's Alan fuckin' Rickman saying it, and (c) He then proceeds to kick all kinds of alien ass.

"I'm not even supposed to be here. I'm just 'Crewman Number Six.' I'm expendable. I'm the guy in the episode who dies to prove how serious the situation is. I've gotta get outta here."

Jason Nesmith: You're not gonna die on the planet, Guy.
Guy: I'm not? Then what's my last name?
Jason Nesmith: It's, uh, uh - -I don't know.
Guy: Nobody knows. Do you know why? Because my character isn't important enough for a last name, because I'm gonna die five minutes in.
Gwen DeMarco: Guy, you have a last name.
Guy: DO I? DO I? For all you know, I'm "Crewman Number Six"! Mommy... mommy...

That would be where I decided that Sam Rockwell is my favourite actor ever.

"What is this thing? I mean, it serves no useful purpose for there to be a bunch of chompy, crushy things in the middle of a hallway. No, I mean we shouldn't have to do this, it makes no logical sense, why is it here?"

"The animal is inside out. And it exploded."

Ah screw it, I love this movie and will rewatch it ASAP now. Basically, nearly every line is golden, ESPECIALLY if it comes out of Tony Shaloub's mouth.

And finally....


"You took the box? Let's see what's in the box! Nothing! Absolutely nothing! STUPID! You're so STU-PIIIIIIIIIIID!"

"For those of you just joining us, today we're teaching poodles how to fly."

"Badgers? Badgers? We don't need no stinking badgers." -- Quick name the movie the ORIGINAL version of this quote came from.

"Today we are going to learn how to make plutonium from common household items."

"Oh, Joel Miller, you've just found the marble in the oatmeal. You're a lucky, lucky, lucky little boy. 'Cause you know why? You get to drink from... the FIRE HOOOOOSE!"

"Ghandi II. No more mister passive resistance."

"Not many people know this, but the turtle is nature's suction cup."

"Don't you know the Dewey Decimal System?"



Julius_Goat said...

I cannot believe I forgot about Army of Darkness and UHF.

The original quote is regarding Badges. From Treasure of the Sierra Madre.

Good list, Astin.

Keep 'em coming, 'chawers!

Riggstad said...

a paltry list at best...

Who told you, that you could work with men? you fuckin' baby! You fairy!

jjok said...

First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me.