Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Locked out from Duey's Vaults 001: Your total will be $20.12. (Not including tips)

Since I lost my key to the vaults, I won't have any movie to review this time around. What better than to jump in on this 2012 war!!! Why should we end this war now when we, along with govts, know that wars make money!!? We have a major opportunity to get this blog off the ground. Lets go people!!

There is a message in this blog somewhere. I won't give it to you directly. If I did, this post wouldn't have any "artistic and/or intellectual value". We saw both sides of the argument. We heard from the height and we heard from the width. My side to this argument? My side of this argument will be the volume side........but with no depth whatsoever. Strictly the entertaining side. Be patient........... be very very, patient.

My Not So Key Points

1. Why make movies at all when we are all gonna die anyway in 2012?

2. I have never seen 2012. I have never seen a movie with John Cusack(Yes i have). I have never seen a movie by Roland Emmerich. I have never heard of Roland Emmerich(Yes, I have...but it doesn't help my argument.) But what I do know, is that people in the 13-18 age group already think this movie is awesome....therefore.......I already know the movie sucks ass.

3. You all really think I want to watch my state of Colliefornia crumble into the ocean instead of crumble economically!!!?

4.Truth is now stranger than fiction. Why are we watching movies? I'll answer that with another question. Doesn't it seem like that these days a fantasy movie would consist of a normal family, doing normal things, eating normal food, and making normal wages and not have so much death and destruction?.

And Apparently Humor Can be Mistaken for Anger

I can't even get through my own post without reading it and realizing it comes off as very stand-offish and angry. Wow I need to cool down. Here's an action clip to help us relax.

Ahhh....... who cares what they were chasing or doing or killing. It made me feel good. I feel better. Action scenes make us feel good. Don't they? Like Porno? Maybe movies like 2012 are the pornos of intellectual artistic films, no?

Why this movie is different

This movie is different because its actually getting people thinking. What the hell IS going on? 2012 is only 3 yrs away. And alot of smelly stuff seems to be hitting the fan. Y2k was a prophecy that someone came up with....3 months before it happened. Look what happened with the freaking out there. 2012 prophecies have been around for thousands of years...like...longer than the bible. People are freaking out...but on the inside. No one knows exactly for sure why they are freaking out or why they suddenly twitch when 2012 is mentioned in the mainstream media. I'm only 28 yrs old and I remember a time people were labeled just a little loony to be talking about that wacky tobaccy.

So will the movie 2012 be the warning that actually prevents 2012 from happening?? Hahaha thats so funny!! What a stupid time paradox that could be!! But guess what........It's not.

You know why? Because just like The Day After Tomorrow, the shit just happens. No one knows why. No one can do anything about it. The earth decides one day to just kill everything and we are in the way. Maybe they could of came up with something that we could prevent in 2012. But I'm sure Roland just has the characters wake up one day and everything is going crazy!!

"OMG its 2012!!"

"I know man...we knew all this stuff was gonna happen"

"I know, I know!!!! 2012 man!!!"

"Yeah man...we've been warned for thousands of years man!"

"CRAZY!!!! So why didn't we stop it if we were warned?"

"Dude, cause the Govt knew nothing about it."

"Well it's not like any of us...tried...to do anything about it."

" Well the....dude...my sister had her wedding this week. I was busy getting all the kinks ironed out and I had a couple back payments on the credit card I had to work off."

You have reached the end of this post. If you don't get the point of what I was trying to say....that was the point I was aiming for. How you feel right now is how you will feel after watching 2012. No matter how cool the "graphics" are, or how good the actors "act", you will still be scratching your head when you walk out the theater.

For some extra reading material on fate and time paradoxes read this interesting article on the Large Hadron Collider.

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