'Ello to all ya gov'na's out there! Welcome to first of my posts that will, most likely, be mistakenly taken as writing that stands up proudly next to the many great men, woman and a couple really smart dolphins that contribute to this blog. In reality this post had been quarantined to some 286 in the damp basement of the internet (coincidently taking up far to much space on a 5 1/4" disk alongside my other two writing debacles) many years ago, that has somehow bubbled and clawed its way to sit here, on this blog of great movie purveyors. My posts will more or less fall on the recommendation side because well, I am rather terrible at watching movies to review them. I sit down to watch a movie and enjoy every minute of it (probably helps that I have an amazingly high suspension of disbelief). So if that personal intro doesn't make you want to banish me back to whence I came from, then read on for my first suggestion: Machine Girl.
So ya know those jokes that start by taking what looks to be completely unrelated and arbitrary items and then coalesces them into a wonderful punchline that somehow leaves you with milk coming out your nose? Something akin to: What do you get when you mix a bulldog and a shih tzu? Well, hoo boy, do I have one for you!
To give a warning before going much further, this movie is not for the faint of heart or for anyone who should not watch R rated movies. Mind you, neither of those stopped me from watching it, but I did need a hug, my blanky and some soothing jazz afterward.
Let's see if I can even come close to making this intro anywhere near as good or hilarious as the movie is.
What do you get when you mix cute girls, ninjas, digit sushi, tempura, insane parents (actually liberally apply insanity to absolutely everyone in the film), forced amputation, one really big gun and enough blood and gore to make "paint the town red" transform into "painting the town, suburbs, countryside and a couple cows red?"
You would either get a re-dubbed version of my fondest childhood memories from cartoon shows on YouTube or The Machine Girl! We'll go with The Machine Girl and leave Care Bears for another day when I'm so overly bored that it starts making sense to watch random Care bear videos on YouTube.
I could go on forever about my love of this movie (which coincidentally I share the same type of love for Plan 9 from Outer Space) which caused me to laugh, and cry from laughing so hard, but here is the preview so you can get a glimpse of the wonderfulness that is this movie yourself: