Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Found in Duey's Vaults #2: Friday the 13th V: A New Beginning(1984)

RATING : *

Intro

Isn't being a child great? You are already practically in a world of imagination. To be placed in front of a TV amplifies that greatly. A child doesn't ask for much...doesn't need much in those first 10 yrs. There is plenty to dig into before eventually running out of superficial, materialistic, bogus stuff to be interested in. Then your 20's come around...and then you eventually begin to "think".

Real thinking.

Spiritual stuff that once seemed boring to a child now becomes the Garden of Eden. Long books are now read. Substance becomes important. A meaning(preferably deep) is yearned in that 90 min movie.

With that being said, it was painstakingly hard to sit through this 5th installment of the Friday the 13th series that was SO DAMN important to me as a child.

Nevermind the fact that this movie doesn't even have Jason Voorhees in it. He is still dead so to speak and a psycho EMT takes his place wearing the same mask and suit. It's like watching Halloween 3. That movie didn't even have Micheal Myers in it.....not even a clone, yet fans of the Friday the 13th franchise were pissed off that the "true" Jason wasn't doing the killing even though everyone watched it thinking it WAS him........... only to be "dissapointed" at the end. I don't get it.
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Anyway, as a kid I didn't even know who Jason Voorhees was. All I cared about was the mask! The mask was what drew me in in the first place. It was the color of his skin, so to speak. I was a horror racist! If Jason Voorhees WAS in the movie without the mask I WOULD have hated it. So to each his own I guess.
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Finding the tape

Wow, did I have a flashback when i read the label. It was the first movie of 3 which also included Friday the 13th part 7 and A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. The first 20min of the movie I am now reviewing was not recorded.(My mom must of recorded it....and once again my 8 yr old self didn't care. I filled in the blanks myself.) Thankfully I found a version of the movie to watch for free online.

The Review

Damn, with all fairness though, right after the Paramount logo was displayed, I was sucked back into the Jason universe with a bang. Corey Feldman walking through the woods with that great creepy ambient music with climbing orchestral string melodies. It's also raining very heavily with thunder and lightning to cover up any bad acting that High School Drunk#1 and #2 attempt as they dig up Jason's grave. Corey hides in the woods as he watches.

Flaw #1 : Don't bury Jason with his machete!

2 guys dead.

Flaw #2 : Oh wait it was a dream. Corey wakes up and is now 20 yrs older. Bye Corey!! You were the best actor of this one and now you are gone 5 min into the movie. Shame.

Corey's older self is played by John Sheperd as the character Tommy. Sheperd does an above average performance for this franchise.(Meaning, all he had to do was ignore everyone's questions and not say anything...except for 24 words the whole movie!! It was a good strategy since all the other bad actors wouldn't shut up.) Obviously I don't really care. In fact, I think the childish bad acting helped draw me in as kid. You know.....playing down to my level. They take Tommy to some Mental Health facility camp in the woods where I'm sure all the hijinks will happen.

Tommy's friend at the facility is none other than Walt from Lost. But in this movie he goes by Reggie the Reckless. So this is where he has been ever since Season 2? 3? Hmmmm...I wonder if this movie is considered canon in the Lost mythology. We''ll have to see.

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The first death of the movie is kind of odd. Joey, a character who looks like the love child of James Belushi and Sean Penn's fat brother, pisses off another patient who is....chopping wood with an axe!!

Flaw # 3 If you are going to have a mental facility camp in the middle of the woods, and the way you decide to treat them is let them be and have them try to reintegrate into society on their own terms..........still.....hide the axe. This should of been a clue to viewers that anything goes in this particular installment.

Flaw #4 Every character is so stereotypical in this movie, that I really have nothing to report. This movie gets so obvious that the creativity I had for this blog is running dry fast.

Stats courtesy of rottentomatoes.com
  • Body Count: 21.
  • Survivors: 4.
  • Number of stalled cars: 2
  • Number of words Tommy Jarvis says: 24
  • Number of "Jason"-approved weapons: 7. Road flare, axe, knife, machete, garden shears, leather strap, railroad spike.
Ewww....I'm glad I don't have to watch this movie ever again. Watching this however made me think of a great horror film, that is smart.....and very 80's....and I would still enjoy watching today. I will review that one next time.


Here is a music video montage of the movie I just watched. Much easier to digest.

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