Thursday, August 27, 2009

Coraline (2009)

First off, sanks God @astinto is out of the continent. Second, dude! Coraline is totally Burton...er...esque.All of the previews were for Tim Burton movies, too! Not that I won't often get names and stuff wrong, I will (watch out the first time I try to review an Eva Mendes movie, I will call her Rosario Dawson, at least twice.) But the Burton thing, whoa, I didn't even doubt it for a second. I wouldn't blame him if he sues. The gist of my review stands. The movie is scary and it's good.

There are two things you should know about me before you read my review of Coraline. Number 1: The first thing I thought when I saw the ads for Coraline was "ah, there are two anagrams in that name. Acroline and colinear. Number 2. Tim Burton scares the shit out of me. To this day, I panic just thinking the word "Beetle-juice" in my head, because inevitably, I think it over and over and then have to force myself not to think it that final time...lalalalalalalalala not thinking anything, not thinking anything, doo dooo dooo. Oh, sorry, where was I. Right, so now you know. Although I am an extremely intelligent being with the ability to spot anagram movie posters and a developed vocabulary, I believe Tim Burton is the devil.
Seriously.
His gaunt, spindly fingered characters and skeletal yippie dogs are essentially what I believe hell will be. Except it'll be a lot hotter and they'll serve chocolate chili pepper ice cream everyday for dessert. Shudder.
Coraline did nothing to disabuse me of this notion. Tim Burton is Satan. How else does he turn the cute notion of a little girl and her dolly into an evil witches' surveillance system? The magic of a child's sense of wonder and imagination into a spiderweb lure? Evil, I tell ya! Oh, this movie is NOT FOR CHILDREN. Well, unless you've got some evil Omen-like/Orphan children, then they will quite enjoy it and take notes on how to hone their evil craft.
Of course, evil can be delicious. And that is definitely the case with Coraline. From the opening scenes of a bored little girl accidentally turning off all the power in her house, causing her father to grasp helplessly at his computer monitor as it flickers away the chapters that he's been writing for his book to the scary Terminator like chase scene at the end, the movie keeps you engaged and biting your fingernails for the plight of young Coraline. As with most Burton flicks, you never quite know who the good guys are or how everything will turn out, but you'll be entertained from start to finish. This movie is definitely a Coltrane! Put the kids to bed first though. And lock their bedroom doors. And check the walls for any openings. And the floorboards. And the ceiling. Oh man, I'm never gonna sleep again.
Zac Efron forever.

5 comments:

Alceste said...

Ummmm.... Tim Burton had nothing to do with Coraline. It's directed by Henry Selick (the director of The Nightmare Before Christmas -- which was produced by Tim Burton -- as well as James and the Giant Peach), and the original story was written by Neil Gaiman (who also wrote Stardust).

Shrike said...

Er, yeah, what Alceste said. (I happen to be a Gaiman completist and I'm leafing through the book right now) This movie was fantastic; Selick et al. did a great job adapting Gaiman's story.

Dawn Summers said...

Wow.Really? Tim Burton's gonna be soooo mad. Looks just like his stuff. And I mean EXACTLY!!!! Lawyers weren't even called?

Alceste said...

You're probably thinking of "Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas," which wasn't actually directed by Tim Burton -- it was Selick. Other than The Corpse Bride, I don't think he's done stop motion animation.

robert said...

Nightmare Before Christmas was actually based on a poem written by Burton. And although Henry Selick did direct both films (Nightmare, Coraline) to suggest that Coraline's visual style--mood--isn't HEAVILY indebted to Tim Burton is nonsense. Unless you want to make an argument about German Expressionism as the real antecedent...were you? Interesting review Dawn, I must say that a Tim Burton universe is not exactly my vision of hell...it all looks kind of comfy to me...my version of hell is more like an Upper West Side, moveon.org meeting where everyone has a mac laptop, short hair, and are "only intolerant of intolerance." Anyway...keep up the cinemaphilia...I want to hear your thoughts on Inglourious Basterds.